Tuesday, July 19, 2011

What do you think? Would you read on? help please! All opinions wanted!?

Its pretty good! Just add a quotation mark before "there goes the old Jone's house." Also, you use Jones a little to much in the first paragraph, for example you could change Greg Jones to simply Greg, because you later explain that he is Paula Jones' husband. I really want to read on! Keep us posted on how the story goes!!

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